Friday, January 28, 2011

Boston Belong To Me

So this one I wrote on the bus over to my brother's house to babysit my niece. The idea itself is pretty funny, but I felt that it's just been done. If I wrote this like right up to the lead up to the Iraq war, it would have been perfect for publication, but at alas there's something to be said about the relevance of a piece. Still, I enjoy the bit I wrote and I hope you enjoy it to....

Bagram is a shithole of unimaginable beauty. The car-bmbs barely serve to distract from the fotbol matches anymore. People navigate around the gunfights like gazelles in migration.The jihadist are targeted every night by the serving squads for reprograming, filling them up with a headay cocktail of etorphine, sodium amytal and 100% Democracy. The hard part is taking them in alive. That's what I do. I'm a displacer. I move in before the servers and make sure the target comes in breathing and upright toward the forward base. The head shrinkers do the reprogramming.

The whole country stinks of war but things are noticably better. The upgraded electrical grid ensures powers to the mobile cell towers, making this whole damn country a wifi hotspot. The central highway commition have begun weaving together the old communal paths and dirt roads, creating a community along the length of the highway. From Ar Rutbah to Baghdad. There is a Taco Bells or a Chili's every forty miles.

The number one rated show on Iraqi television is the Iraqi version of Glee called Indolent Youth. The main girl wears her hair up and dresses in mini-skirts. She's thirteen...

Yeah. That's it.

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